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Stupid News From Africa
George Carlin, Speaker, Author, and Social Critic.
As we leave 2019 behind, we can safely say it has been a weird year. We have grown accustomed to hearing strange, weird and depressing tales from Africa – human rights violations, corruption, political upheavals, conflicts … well you know where we are going. But there are some stories, you just have to re-read, to make sure your eyes are not playing tricks on you.
Our apologies in advance if you get a migraine laughing hard or annoyed by how funny, unbelievable or ridiculous the news item is.
Welcome to ‘Stupid News’ from Africa!
Do you have true ridiculous stories (with pictures if available) you want to share with our readers? We will love to hear from you. Fill in the form below and send them along. Please identify the source, so that we can verify them independently. Oh, by the way, they should be related to African economy, politics and the AU. So, not the marriage or mother-in-law stories. You get the drift.
Bobi Wine charged with “annoying” Ugandan President, Yoweri Museveni
This is Africa, 8 August 2019
It is an offence to now “annoy” President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni. This was one of the charges filed against Ugandan Member of Parliament, and “Ghetto President”, Robert Kyagulanyi widely known as Bobi Wine.
Ugandan Member of Parliament, Robert Kyagulanyia.k.aBobi Wine had fresh charges brought up against him. According to news report, Bobi Wine showed “intent to alarm, annoy, or ridicule,” Uganda’s President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni. The charges drawn up against Bobi Wine stem from August 8, 2018 when President Museveni was campaigning in a by-election and had his convoy “allegedly stoned by opposition supporters”.
Museveni sought 5-month salary advance after 2016 elections
Ugandan Observer, 30 July 2019President Museveni sought a five months’ salary advance soon after the 2016 general election. In honour of his request, State House released a total of Shs 19.1 million off its budget for the financial year 2016/17.
This was revealed as a team from State House interfaced with the parliamentary Public Accounts Committee (PAC) today. The committee is scrutinising queries raised by the Auditor General, in his report for the financial year ending June 2018.
The request for an advance came soon after the controversial 2016 general election which Museveni won with a 61 per cent margin. The chairman of the Public Accounts Committee Nathan NandalaMafabi says the legislators are crosschecking if Museveni was listed as one of the debtors in the 2016/2017 records. Maruzi County MP Maxwell Akora wondered if public servants can be granted salary advances that can even go as far as five months.
President Museveni reportedly earns a monthly salary of Shs 3.6 million. He has often claimed that he doesn’t need government money (salary) because he is rich enough to finance his needs from his own personal investments and projects.
Zuma to supporters outside court: ‘I have to sell hats, socks to pay legal bills’
News 24: 24 .5 2019
Embattled former president Jacob Zuma has told supporters that he has had to sell his hats and socks to pay his legal fees, according to reports.The former first citizen, who appeared in the KwaZulu-Natal High Court in Pietermarizburg to apply for a permanent stay of prosecution in his corruption trial, spoke to about 250 supporters, where he bemoaned his legal woes.
Zuma told his supporters in isiZulu that, even though he was being ganged up on, he was not afraid of anything.
Yet, Zuma owns a lovely pad (Nkandla Residence) worth $23 million, complete with a helipad, an underground tunnel linking it to the main residence; his and hers bathrooms and 10 houses for security guards are among recent upgrades to South African President Jacob Zuma’s rural homestead. The Nkandla residence, in one of the poorest areas of the country, has a playground, a visitors’ centre and a bunker reached by twin elevators.
The SA Sunday Times alleges that he owns a palace in Dubai. He denies the allegation. The newspaper must be mistaken. How can a man who has to sell his underwear’s to pay for legal bills afford a mansion in Dubai? Not possible
The Second Congo War – Africa’s Most Deadly
The Second Congo War was a conflict that took place largely in the territory of Democratic Republic of the Congo (formerly Zaire). The war began in 1998 and officially ended in 2003 when a Transitional Government took power. The widest interstate war in modern African history, it directly involved nine African nations, as well as about twenty armed groups, and earned the epithet of “Africa’s World War” and the “Great War of Africa.” An estimated 5.4 million people died, mostly from starvation and disease brought about by one of the deadliest conflicts since World War II. Millions more were displaced from their homes or sought asylum in neighbouring countries.
Despite a formal end to the war in July 2003 and an agreement by the former belligerents to create a government of national unity, the state remains weak and much of the eastern region continues to suffer from violent conflict. In 2004, an estimated one thousand people died every day from violence and disruptions to basic social services and food supply. Sporadic outbreaks of fighting continue to lead to large scale forced migration.